|my big ears!|
A young boy in Hamilton was killed this last week outside his school in front of his mum, by a pack of bullies. Bullies are shit.
A Bully is a broken person. Bullying is the use of force, coercion, or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual.
Bullies can come in all shapes and sizes and ages. Often Bullies don’t get called out, cause the fear and intimidation is real for the victim. Victims are afraid to name their abusers.
Many of us, have a bully story either from school or the workplace, but often we are too ashamed to tell our own story as it is a perceived weakness to fall prey to a bully.
Bullies should be called out for what they are, Losers, with a Capital L.
I eventually charged my High School Bully with assault.
It happened over a period of about 5 years from 18-23, at the time I was ashamed and embarrassed, and my bully was girl, and of course it was over a guy. Girls can be worse than guys when it comes to bullying which is why I keep my girl circle small and genuine.
In high school I was asked out by a local guy fair bit older than me, probs 25, significant if you are in High School, who at the time I thought was really cool, he wasn’t. At the time I did not understand what was actually going on I was naïve. After a few encounters he asked if I would want to have sex with what turns out was his then girlfriend. I said No. When I declined his request to meet his girlfriend, but continued to see him (yes I am an idiot), the girlfriend went postal, married him and had kids with him and for the next 5 years called me a man stealer, verbally abused me at parties and in public, wrote shit on bathroom walls about me, and make multiple crank phone calls, for years this went on, it got to a point where I just would not go where they were, it was embarrassing, and I felt shame, if I went to party or a bar and they were there I would leave. I still do, not because of shame anymore but of disgust. I learnt early by default to avoid what turned out to be Ancaster swinger’s circle like the plague, nothing good comes of that in my opinion, which was lucky for me, I have a solid group of life long peeps that are pretty real.
For years after I had not been in touch with them, but still continued to receive abuse, I was working in Jackson Square as the manager of a retail store, I was on my lunch break and the crazy bitch sees me and grabs me by the throat and pins me up against the wall beside the old Aldo, she had been shopping in Cotton Ginny Plus across the hall, and she snapped. She wanted to fight me right there and then, which was insane in itself. She was escorted out of the mall and I filed an assault charge. She tried to fight the charge but luckily, I had kept all of the tapes, I kept all of the messages that she had left me. The messages were many she would call in a rage, sometimes with babies crying in the background, telling me her husband never loved me, and my children would be ugly with big ears. It was disturbing, but mostly I was kind of scared cause she was crazy. Luckily the assault charges stuck, and I still have a restraining order that lets her know to keep the Fuck away from me.
It was the big ears comment that got to me more than the man stealer bullshit. I was not interested in her or her man and had moved on many years before. For a grown woman married with children to call up another woman and leave messages that her children would be ugly with big ears is just over the top. Just saying, my kids are more beautiful than beautiful in my eyes, even if they had big ears, luckily for them they did not inherit that trait.
|8th Birthday after ear surgery|
Big Ears, Dumbo, Monkey Ears, …..I guess it really bothered me cause when I was 8 I had my ears pinned back, in England it is pretty common to have big ears, but the kids teased me. I got called all kinds of ear related names, so when going in for some birth mark removal surgery because I also had a huge birthmark on my back, my doctor agreed to pin my ears at the same time. I don’t remember asking for them to pin them back, the doctor suggested it – like my ears were that ugly at 8 they should be fixed. I sort of miss my big ears, sometimes when I see people with big ears, I want to go and give them a hug, cause big ears are lovely. My ears are my pixie ears.
I am 51 now and I don’t tolerate abuse, or bullies, on any level.
If you are person who goes around belittling others to enhance your own ego, be rest assured if not in this lifetime then the next – you will pay the price.
Do no harm and take no shit.
Strength in numbers. Stand up for the little guy.
Kindness is the new cool.