Saturday, 12 October 2019

Bullies are SHIT!


my big ears!
A young boy in Hamilton was killed this last week outside his school in front of his mum, by a pack of bullies.  Bullies are shit.

A Bully is a broken person. Bullying is the use of force, coercion, or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. 

Bullies can come in all shapes and sizes and ages.  Often Bullies don’t get called out, cause the fear and intimidation is real for the victim.  Victims are afraid to name their abusers.

Many of us, have a bully story either from school or the workplace, but often we are too ashamed to tell our own story as it is a perceived weakness to fall prey to a bully. 

Bullies should be called out for what they are, Losers, with a Capital L.

I eventually charged my High School Bully with assault.  

It happened over a period of about 5 years from 18-23, at the time I was ashamed and embarrassed, and my bully was girl, and of course it was over a guy.  Girls can be worse than guys when it comes to bullying which is why I keep my girl circle small and genuine.  

In high school I was asked out by a local guy fair bit older than me, probs 25, significant if you are in High School, who at the time I thought was really cool, he wasn’t.  At the time I did not understand what was actually going on I was na├»ve.  After a few encounters he asked if I would want to have sex with what turns out was his then girlfriend.  I said No.  When I declined his request to meet his girlfriend, but continued to see him (yes I am an idiot), the girlfriend went postal, married him and had kids with him and for the next 5 years called me a man stealer, verbally abused me at parties and in public, wrote shit on bathroom walls about me, and make multiple crank phone calls, for years this went on, it got to a point where I just would not go where they were, it was embarrassing, and I felt shame, if I went to party or a bar and they were there I would leave.  I still do, not because of shame anymore but of disgust.  I learnt early by default to avoid what turned out to be Ancaster swinger’s circle like the plague, nothing good comes of that in my opinion, which was lucky for me, I have a solid group of life long peeps that are pretty real.      

For years after I had not been in touch with them, but still continued to receive abuse, I was working in Jackson Square as the manager of a retail store, I was on my lunch break and the crazy bitch sees me and grabs me by the throat and pins me up against the wall beside the old Aldo, she had been shopping in Cotton Ginny Plus across the hall, and she snapped.  She wanted to fight me right there and then, which was insane in itself.  She was escorted out of the mall and I filed an assault charge. She tried to fight the charge but luckily, I had kept all of the tapes, I kept all of the messages that she had left me.   The messages were many she would call in a rage, sometimes with babies crying in the background, telling me her husband never loved me, and my children would be ugly with big ears. It was disturbing, but mostly I was kind of scared cause she was crazy.  Luckily the assault charges stuck, and I still have a restraining order that lets her know to keep the Fuck away from me.  

It was the big ears comment that got to me more than the man stealer bullshit.  I was not interested in her or her man and had moved on many years before.  For a grown woman married with children to call up another woman and leave messages that her children would be ugly with big ears is just over the top. Just saying, my kids are more beautiful than beautiful in my eyes, even if they had big ears, luckily for them they did not inherit that trait.    

8th Birthday after ear surgery
Big Ears, Dumbo, Monkey Ears, …..I guess it really bothered me cause when I was 8 I had my ears pinned back, in England it is pretty common to have big ears, but the kids teased me.  I got called all kinds of ear related names, so when going in for some birth mark removal surgery because I also had a huge birthmark on my back, my doctor agreed to pin my ears at the same time.  I don’t remember asking for them to pin them back, the doctor suggested it – like my ears were that ugly at 8 they should be fixed.  I sort of miss my big ears, sometimes when I see people with big ears, I want to go and give them a hug, cause big ears are lovely.  My ears are my pixie ears.  

I am 51 now and I don’t tolerate abuse, or bullies, on any level.

If you are person who goes around belittling others to enhance your own ego, be rest assured if not in this lifetime then the next – you will pay the price.

Do no harm and take no shit.

Strength in numbers. Stand up for the little guy.

Kindness is the new cool.


Tuesday, 5 February 2019

Spring fever, you mind is the garden, your thoughts are the seeds, you can plant flowers or you can plant weeds.....

Your mind is a garden and your thoughts are the seeds you can grow flowers, or you can grow weeds, and weeds can be cool too.

Legalization of Cannabis has passed and despite uncertain legislation around the sale and processing of Cannabis – one thing is for sure. You can grow your own.  4 plants per household.  

Back in 2017, I had approached the City of the Hammer, to enquire about processing Cannabis legally, I never did it, far too complicated at this stage, and the back lash of even asking put me off.  So, legalization happened last Oct – yet it is still technically illegal unless you buy it from the Govt.  Beat the system – grow your own.

Anyone following the story in Hamilton, knows that there have been regular raids on illegal dispensaries, dispensaries full of products legally made somewhere else.  Ontario’s regulations are hurting local small-scale production.  Only the big players are benefiting from our legislation, perhaps it’s no surprise.  

So, what do you need to grow you own?  Seeds are available legally at most legal head shops, for about 15.00 per seed in about 4 months you your seed will become a stunning weed. Some low-cost LED lights and a little love and perhaps an air purifier to clean the musky scent, and you will be well on your way to a cost effective, safe, and legal means to enjoy a little wacky tobakky.

So bottom line no Ojo will not be producing any body products or edibles, but I am making them for myself, and that in itself is a bonus. Body products infused with CBD, have loads of beneficial properties outside of pain relief, when combined with essential oils, a personalized skin & hair care regime is literally pennies away.  The beneficial properties of the Cannabis plant goes well beyond its psychoactive fame.  So, stay tuned and I will be sharing some tips and recipes from the test kitchen.    

Lots of people still ask what happened to the Ojo food truck. The 1966 Avion is still sitting next to her sister the 1971 Airstream, planning their next adventure.  The cooking equipment has been removed from the food truck and replaced with prep space and storage.  

Seeds are the next adventure – February marks the beginning of seed selection, over the last two years I have been gradually replacing the grass and shrubbery at the house with Perennial herbs and food.   Patiently awaiting spring is a handful of blueberry bushes, loads of strawberries which are only enough for the bunnies, asparagus, pears, raspberries, and hundreds of cloves of garlic, peppered with lots of mint, oregano, rosemary, bergamot, and kale.  So as McMansions grow around me, replacing green space with concrete, I am doubling down on planting seeds and I like it.  I am proud to say that I am still drinking a wild crafted tea from my garden herbs that hands down beats the store bought – and it is free and abundant. 

As you plan your spring garden, make sure you include some bee friendly pollinators and something to snack on for yourself too J

Happy seeding, you only reap what you sow, so take to time to open a window of light and plant a seed of love.